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Writer's pictureCaitlyn Turner

Dating: What Do You Bring To the "Table".

self-con·fi·dence /ˈˌself ˈkänfəd(ə)ns/

noun

1. a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment.



When my clients are interested in starting to date, we begin to really focus in on, the concept and question of; what do you bring to the “table”.


Thinking about this helps to build confidence. You need to be able to understand you never need someone to complete you- you complete you, we are all searching for partners which means we are looking for someone to compliment you.


Before you are able to be with another person, you need to look inward at yourself. Many clients come to me, either really wanting to get back out dating immediately or fearful of ever putting themselves out on the dating scene again. My path starts the same for both{clients}; who are you, what do you like about yourself, what are you seeking in your partner and lastly what do you bring to the table. 

I believe for my fearful(anxious) clients, they get so stuck in their heads, they make dating into this huge ordeal. They put so much pressure on themselves to be this perfect ideal version they believe deserves love. So, we work on breaking this down, figuring out why the amazing client sitting in front of me does not feel they are enough just the way they are. 


We dispel the myths of needing this perfection and needing the other person to complete them. And we again bring the focus back to them, my client in front of me. Who are you, what do you bring to this “table”. We take the power away from the anxiety in their brains and shed light on what dating really is(We normalize dating, this is not dismissing or minimizing feelings).

Dating is two people meeting for a meal/drink/whatever. It is two people interviewing the other to see what each other can add to the others life. And if in the end neither finds the other bringing anything new or needed into their life, they part ways. That is it, remove all the fluff and it’s just two people {both} trying to figure it all out. 


This all sounds very simple and easy, but this process does take time, it could take weeks or months to help someone find self confidence and understand they are amazingly unique and feel safe and strong enough to want to share this with the world.


Picture this, you walk into a room and here is that table I keep talking about; they one where you are working on and discovering what you bring to it. Everyone in your life ends up on the other side of this table at some point: some bring; laughter, love, compassion, excitement, understanding, no judgement, creativity—the list goes on and on. 


This brings us back to the start; what do you bring to this table? What qualities and strengths make you, YOU.  

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